1. |
||||
|
I packed a go-bag and through it in my car, told myself it was just in case.
but I knew sooner or later, I would leave, it would get used someday.
Its been a really weird year.
How many times did I chase you down the street?
Begging you to calm down, come home, not do it, at least put shoes on your feet,
fucking terrified, but I stayed every time,
until it was my turn to walk out that door.
It's been a really weird year.
I sat in that K-mart parking lot longer than I should have.
I was shaking, I was sobbing, I was promising to come home.
You got desperate, I got distant.
I came back to the house, but I never came home.
Its been a really weird year.
I came home from across the sea, back to your arms, ready to be your everything.
but you would't even kiss me.
So I did what I always did and let you feel what you felt more,
ignoring the rift between us growing bigger than the Olduvai Gorge.
its been a really weird year.
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
I'm not drowning my sorrows, still I'm filling my glass
not a toast, not a roast, just a fact
hiding from our usual haunts because of our past
I'm not dwelling but I'm not moving on
I don't owe you an explanation
still I'm getting emotional whiplash
I'm not saying that I'm trying to replace you
but it'd take a thousand girls just to fill the hole you left
I'm not saying I have total regrets
only in how the way things had went
I'm not dwelling, but I'm not moving on
|
||||
3. |
Empty Towers
03:54
|
|||
|
I'm tired of cliches but this city is filled with ghosts and spit shined decay
and I'm making my peace with it
let them tear down these monuments to you and me and who I used to be
I had to stop by our old house, there's someone new there
but I bet you knew that
and I can't blame him but I can't help but hate him
cause he'll never know
about the red door, cracked ceilings embedded with meaning, and the ghosts that we swore were there
but the only thing haunting this place in the end was me, and the rosebush that finally died
and I feel like I can't escape
buried my youth off of Williams and MLK
and I'd rather this block be razed, let more empty towers take its place
I'm back on the streets I grew up on, that we used to get drunk on
and everything's changing
and I'm so sick of complaining, though I hate it
cause they'll never know
about flipping through pages in Mutiny's stacks and the skateshop now a tapas bar
and I can't even stumble back home any more without seeing you or a place we used to love
and I feel like I can't escape
buried my youth off the old South Broadway
and I'd rather this block be razed, let more empty towers take its place
I keep having this vivid dream of the Platte catching fire at the confluence with Cherry Creek
in every direction it sweeps, up every bank and burns down everything this city used to be, that this city meant to me
and I feel like I can't escape
buried my youth off these dirty waterways
and I'd rather this block be razed, let more empty towers take its place
I'll let it burn, you can have the rubble
|
||||
4. |
Not Today
03:21
|
|||
|
Been thinking a lot about death, thinking a lot more sense I left
how much do you still wish for it? how much I'm terrified of it
the nothing left, I left, oh god I left
been having fever dreams
sweat soaking through my sheets
haunting ragged breath can't get the sound out of my
heading west, white-knuckle plane ride home
speeding drive up downing to your bare white room
I can't get the sound out of my head, the voice of the cops the sirens
you saying I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
ch: I feel like I can't look at you the same again
I stole a life from the god of death
and the irony that's killing me
is things got worse once the belt was off your neck
you were alive, but we were dead
I know you wished a lot for death
it exhaled with your every breath
never resentful towards it, tried to protect you from it
but in the end it was too much for me, the guilt, the pacing in the streets
I felt there was nothing left so I left oh god I left
|
||||
5. |
Caffeine Headaches
03:52
|
|||
|
I don't know if its the caffeine headaches or my declining sense of despair
that's making me feel this way, like I don't care
about the rainy days as much as I used to
oh no they don't bug me like they did
if I could choose a place to stay forever,
it'd be diners and front porches together
no I don't care, let the rain fall
let the rain fall down
I don't know if its these Stax records or my declining sense of vulnerability
that's making me feel this way, like I can finally care
about the sunny days as much as I used to
oh no they don't bug me like the did
if I could choose a place to stay forever,
it'd be diners and front porches together
no I don't care, let the rain fall
let the rain fall down
|
||||
6. |
Wounded
03:01
|
|||
|
We don't let our dreams die, we treat them like adults
if they wish, they can choose suicide
but lately its felt like Jonestown in here
and I keep waking up in sweat from nightmares of failure
terrifying messages, double checking the trashcan for evidence
at least my bad dreams are honest
Ch: and I wrote abandon hope across your pelvis
you laughed it off, but really I am ruing being so optimistic
that it scares me
maybe its all of these toxic fumes
but everyone round here seems to be failing on me
now I'm becoming oh so determined to lose
sometimes I guess you have to accept things are beyond your control
Ch.
|
||||
7. |
Soul Singer
02:56
|
|||
|
I'm trying to exercise restraint exorcising you from my life
cause all night and day, I don't wanna be twistin that knife
I know its hard, but I swear I had to go
oh this is familiar, why do I feel so low
how can we be so cruel to the ones we claim to love?
and I've been trying to understand
how to be more of a human, less of a man
but toxicity still seeps into me
laugh about torching those bars downtown where sexist bros always hang around
but are we really that different from them?
and I've been trying to rectify how many of my soul singer heroes were unfaithful and violent inside
the greatest words of love ever sung, thank god so many of them died so young
cause nothing, nothing could ever change what they done
and I've been trying to understand the disconnect between their songs and their living
tell myself at least I'm not like them
but I'm still trying to hold it all in
the shame, the guilt, how things ended
and I swear I'm trying to be better again
Sam Cooke, drunk and naked in a motel lobby
covered in blood, don't make much sense
Sam Cooke, shot dead in a motel lobby
why was he shot in self-defense?
and I've been trying to understand
how to be more of a human, less of a man
but hypocrisy still steeps in to me
and I'm still trying to hold it all in
the shame, the guilt, how things ended
and I swear I'm trying to be better again
|
||||
8. |
Julie Got Married
02:23
|
|||
|
Julie got married, and I'm back living at home
I took this decision into my own hands, but I can't help feeling alone
Julie got married, its kind of weird I'm saying is all
I get existential at times like
so I tell my therapist, even though they don't exist
but that part's need to know
we give so much of ourselves to future strangers
memories that fill these pages
lately all these days I sing are dirges of people I'm not anymore
Ch: Julie got married, and I'm back living at home
I took this decision into my own hands, but I can't help feeling alone
Julie got married, and we don't really talk anymore
you said metaphor was lost on me
feeling like the worst parts of High Fidelity
Cusack contemplating bullshit instead of growing up
its been ten long years since Nausea, Bitter Songs, other loves
I still haven't learned a goddamn thing, probably time to give this up
Ch.
Julie got married, and her husband, I don't think he likes me.
|
||||
9. |
Barricades
03:19
|
|||
|
I spent election night in the arms of someone else
and in a cloud of smoke and sweat
my mind drifted to you
were you drunk and staring at the stars like me?
were you thinking that our separation destabilized this universe like me?
and I know we're all terrified of what comes next
turn uncertain shaky hands into clenched fists
put aside our broken hearts
comrades until the end
the world is falling apart
and I can't even hold your hand
even in these crowded streets
I can pick you out down the bloc
did you feel our hands brush when you were next to me?
or are these barricades to impassable to reach out, like me?
and I know we're all terrified of what comes next
turn uncertain shaky hands into clenched fists
put aside our broken hearts
comrades until the end
the world is falling apart
and I can't even hold your hand
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
Tonight every car on the street is a cop
but every light lasts so long that we never even stop
and tomorrow you say we can blow them all away
but come now come now that's enough, you get off on talking tough
and the truth is a pest you can try to ignore
but it will follow you home, it will wait outside your door
and tonight I'll pretend that I've always felt this way
but I would gladly give away the awful way I felt today
she shows no fear at all when we face Denver's finest
they cannot believe their ears when she says to them she says
with your violent inclinations, and your crude intimidations
you're the single greatest problem in this problematic nation"
if nothing else we can annoy them to no end
I sing fight songs for my true love
and she always gets embarrassed
I think secretly she loves it, maybe me
and she shows no fear at all when we face Denver's finest
I am shaking where I stand when she says to them she says
"To protect and to serve" yeah but can you tell me who?
cause I have never felt very comfortable with you
and aren't you the ones who were sent to make me happy?
cause I wouldn't dare to accuse you of trying
you can regulate our lives, but that doesn't mean we trust you
you can lie to us all night, but that doesn't mean we're listening
if nothing else we can annoy them to no end
if nothing else I'll bleed on them
and tonight I will love you til they trample us like roses
we may die but we won't mind cause we'll be right, we're always right
and tomorrow you say we can finally have our way
but come now why give up the fight? we can fight so well tonight
excessive whoas
|
||||
11. |
XPANTSX
02:46
|
|||
|
et's just keep it together
life is a joke, sometimes the humor is cruel and tasteless
are those tears on your cheeks, or just sweat?
are you just telling yourself the latter?
"be a man" just don't forget
have you ever looked so pathetic under florescent lights
have you ever been so exhausted? you can't sleep tonight
and the sunrise over the Texas swamps is the most ugly and beautiful thing you've ever seen
continue your run to the sea?
if this Genesis and Exodus, then Revelations can do nothing to terrify me
to be honest I only wanted into heaven to punch God in his fucking teeth
cause I don't need that kind of faith any more
not that I ever really did, but each day it becomes more apparent
continue your slow march to the sea
placing a lopsided bet on these four tires against the heat
darling wipe the tears and sweat from your eyes
when I get home, lets give happiness a try
we may not know where we're going
but my crooked compass, yes I found it, points to you
dreams fulfilled as I take a deep breath of the same salty air that once rebirthed me
faith renewed, I have you, I don't need a deity, just you and me
if I make it home alive, we're gonna give happiness a try.
|
||||
JSR Denver, Colorado
JSR started as a solo project in 2008, and morphed into a full band in 2012. Anti-capitalist, pro-oxford comma.
JSR recommends:
If you like JSR, you may also like:
featured on Bandcamp Radio Sep 1, 2023
go to album
Sidewalkin'
by the cigarette bums
An album of garage punk stompers that will stick in your ears like bubblegum to your shoes.
go to album
This debut from the punk band mixes poetry and punk aesthetics to tackle issues like Indigenous, Black, and trans rights.
go to album
